Love Always ,
Mommy
Mallie Bean
Sunday, September 9, 2018
Happy 9th Birthday Mallie Jean
I think I say this every year but it couldn’t be more true. Time Flies!!! Looking back tho for real I can’t believe we have fast forwarded this far. You are so beautiful! You are sassy and feisty but so sweet at the same time. Your are the light to th days and your spirit amazes me all the time. I wish I could slow the clock down but at the same time seeing you grow and succeed is a gift! So many exciting things to come for you sweetie pie. I hope you know how loved you are - Mommy Loves you with all my heart! Happy Birthday!
Sunday, September 10, 2017
Happiest of Birthdays to you Mallie Bean! 8 Years flew by......
Mallie -
8 years! Where does the time go? You are still young and have no idea how fast it can really go yet? Grandpa Roy always said to not rush it and man he was right. Every year you make life more fun and exciting. Your love for reading and school is perfect, I hope you never lose that! Last year at this time you were doing sight words great and now you can read beginner chapter books. Second grade is going to be another year of amazing growth and so many fun experiences. I am both so excited and happy to watch you grow - but bittersweet as you gain more and more independence! There was a time when you were a baby that everything was so up in the air. Would you be able to crawl, walk, talk, hear? Every step we took , you took with us and now look at you. Your laugh lights up an entire room, you are running everywhere, and you can talk our ears off. You have started dance this year too, I am so very excited to see how this changes your game. Making you stronger! All I ever want is to see you happy, pursuing your passions, enjoying life and loving your family and friends. You my dear are doing just that! You have your fiesty spunky side - as well as your frustrated don't mess with me side. I love all your sides and love seeing your personality continue to evolve. I am looking forward to another year of fun, and some new adventures. I love you with all my heart Mallie! Happiest of Birthdays to you! Love you to the Moonie and the Backie :) Mommy
8 years! Where does the time go? You are still young and have no idea how fast it can really go yet? Grandpa Roy always said to not rush it and man he was right. Every year you make life more fun and exciting. Your love for reading and school is perfect, I hope you never lose that! Last year at this time you were doing sight words great and now you can read beginner chapter books. Second grade is going to be another year of amazing growth and so many fun experiences. I am both so excited and happy to watch you grow - but bittersweet as you gain more and more independence! There was a time when you were a baby that everything was so up in the air. Would you be able to crawl, walk, talk, hear? Every step we took , you took with us and now look at you. Your laugh lights up an entire room, you are running everywhere, and you can talk our ears off. You have started dance this year too, I am so very excited to see how this changes your game. Making you stronger! All I ever want is to see you happy, pursuing your passions, enjoying life and loving your family and friends. You my dear are doing just that! You have your fiesty spunky side - as well as your frustrated don't mess with me side. I love all your sides and love seeing your personality continue to evolve. I am looking forward to another year of fun, and some new adventures. I love you with all my heart Mallie! Happiest of Birthdays to you! Love you to the Moonie and the Backie :) Mommy
Friday, July 14, 2017
I can do nothing or I can do something....
I have already tried nothing........ this may be a ramble but here it goes.....
Today I was reminded that I am not on this earth to do nothing - I was that girl that was complacent and living in the past. Not excited for the future - just wandering thru life. Mallie was born and it was the start of me LIVING MY FREAKIN LIFE! At that moment it no longer became about me anymore. It was all about her and it still is. Almost 8 years ago that little light of mine came into the world needing more than the average child. She needed a warrior to advocate for her, and that is just what I have done. I have fought for EVERYTHING and I will continue to. God knew I needed her and she needed me. I needed to step up and Do something. It was the start of me finding myself - what was i put on earth to do. What was my purpose? We all have one - some choose to ignore it, some have not found it and that is ok for awhile. But until you find that purpose, that passion that fuels you - you are not truly living. I know I have been there, and when I woke up - it has changed my life. 3 Years ago I was called to courage,to do something that was so out of my realm - NOT anything you could have seen coming. I never saw it coming. I found something that not only has changed my families health, but it has given me hope for my future. I am dreaming again.... when we become adults so many of us lose that ability to DREAM. What do we want for ourselves, family and our future? Have you thought about that? in a positive way? Do you believe you can achieve it? There is a huge difference between wishing and doing the activity to get you there. Mallie conditioned me for my calling. She needed me to fight for her when she couldn't herself. I believe that there are so many people out there that need me to that for them. I am growing and changing so If my approach to helping others does not come out the way I see it in my head that is something I am working on. I don't want to sell people anything - I want to share what is working for us. We live in a world full of new chemical daily, processed fast food, pollution, fast moving. So many are SICK with things never heard of, kids have hospitals dedicated to them. My friends and family fight illness all the time. People I care about get cancer, they get autoimmune diseases and they don't even know they can help themselves. They settle for pills, drs with no answers, chronic pain, feeling trapped in their own homes, watching their kids suffer with diseases only seen in adults. I can't just sit here and do NOTHING - I have already done that and what good does that do? I have such a heart and passion for others. IT may be the perception of some that I only want a customer. That is far from the truth. Being a customer supports my family yes, but what good is it if you don't value it and understand what it is. Not everyone is ready, not everyone believes they have options. I understand that, I can't help everyone - but I can help someone and I am not giving up! I see the FB posts of so many - battling their health. I can't imagine what some may have gone thru or will go thru. So many claim to help and want to sell sell sell. It really puts bad taste in the mouths of those struggling and not finding a solution. I most recently have been silently battling something. Only those close to me know but I have not found an answer yet or relief. It really has put a damper on my spirit and it has distracted me the last few months. I finally decided this week that I can't dwell on this, we will figure it out. I am called to deal with this for now and its only making me stronger. Just to ease your mind I have had all the diagnostics tests done and ruled out all the BAD stuff. I am not dying and I need to suck it up. I am so thankful for my good nutrition and the resources I have available to me because of my business. All blood work and all CT. MRI imaging is all normal - The western medical drs have nothing. Mostly I feel like I am fighting my body from wanting to daydream./space out 24/7. Weirdest feeling in the world , and I admit i was so starting to freak out with the testing - but everything has come back normal. EVERYTHING! Acupuncture and chiropractors have been my best friends. I know I will get past it - maybe even wake up one day and it will be normal, ha! Normal is seriously over-rated! My whole point in sharing this is , I got so consumed in myself. Letting a lot of things slide - not anymore. I am going to control my mindset from now on! I have to much to give to just sit back and dwell on things I can't control. I feel like how dare I not get over myself - this too shall pass. I do have so much empathy for those dealing with chronic illness or things not explained. Trying one thing after another, test after test. It can be exhausting and each time you hope you find something even if its devastating. At least I have an answer is what I have thought. However I am so thankful I have my health and even tho its not perfect now, I will be ok. My only advice is keep searching for something that may help you. Even if your doctor is not 100% on board, We have to be our own advocates. That is one thing having Mallie has taught me - Western medicine is needed but they are not the only options out there. My god if I just listened to every person in charge of Mallie's care - we sure as hell would not be where we are today. Have you seen her? My daughter is amazing! I don't mind bragging - that girl has been thru hell. Defied so many obstacles and showed up to her life all the time. When I was worried and wondering if she would do this, would do that. She HAS and my heart could just burst every time I look at her. What if I had not fought? What if I settled..... and So What happens when they say well this all I got for you? Leaving you with no solution, no answers. Better yet what if you are not OK with what they have to say? Like when Mallie was on a adult dose of miralax for 3 years.... Seriously - even the DR of INTEsTINES said that was my only option. WTF really? When you open up the pamphlet on that chemical shit storm - it says in big bold letters. NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN. Yet Drs are OK letting them eat it daily in Large doses. No long term studies ....Oh its ok, really? Why does the label say that then? It infuriates me - this is not the only drug out there given to kids like candy. Its the only one I have a personal experience with. I sought out other options because I am 100% not ok with that! My daughter means the world to me and I would take a bullet for her - why the hell would I poison her from the inside out? I realize she needs to go to the bathroom...but I just knew there had to be a better way. DR's can't help it they are trained to treat symptoms (not speaking for all). We don't have HEALTH CARE in the world we have Sick care. You don't go to them for prevention, right? maybe a yearly check up and they may offer some advice. Lets be honest - we go to them when something is wrong 99% of the time. That is where I come in - I want to help others learn to prevent. I want to give people hope! Those I have already - I thank you for believing in me. Thank you for letting me part of your journey. I want to inspire you to make a decision to not settle and not give up! If that means you decide to join the Juice Plus Family, great! IF it means you decide not to drink pop daily, yes! Or if it means you started walking daily, drinking more water, googling info about health concerns - all of this is me doing my JOB - my calling is to inspire others to make a change for the better. Join me in making a difference in people's lives! I want to leave you with the lyrics to a song from Wonder Woman (go see this movie) Fight for yourself, fight for others that can't find for themselves. Love people! The world needs more of that now more than ever!
To Be Human - sia - watch here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-BcIkbedIc
To be human is to love
even when it gets too much
I'm not ready to give up
To be human is to love
Even when it gets too much
There's no reason to give up
Today I was reminded that I am not on this earth to do nothing - I was that girl that was complacent and living in the past. Not excited for the future - just wandering thru life. Mallie was born and it was the start of me LIVING MY FREAKIN LIFE! At that moment it no longer became about me anymore. It was all about her and it still is. Almost 8 years ago that little light of mine came into the world needing more than the average child. She needed a warrior to advocate for her, and that is just what I have done. I have fought for EVERYTHING and I will continue to. God knew I needed her and she needed me. I needed to step up and Do something. It was the start of me finding myself - what was i put on earth to do. What was my purpose? We all have one - some choose to ignore it, some have not found it and that is ok for awhile. But until you find that purpose, that passion that fuels you - you are not truly living. I know I have been there, and when I woke up - it has changed my life. 3 Years ago I was called to courage,to do something that was so out of my realm - NOT anything you could have seen coming. I never saw it coming. I found something that not only has changed my families health, but it has given me hope for my future. I am dreaming again.... when we become adults so many of us lose that ability to DREAM. What do we want for ourselves, family and our future? Have you thought about that? in a positive way? Do you believe you can achieve it? There is a huge difference between wishing and doing the activity to get you there. Mallie conditioned me for my calling. She needed me to fight for her when she couldn't herself. I believe that there are so many people out there that need me to that for them. I am growing and changing so If my approach to helping others does not come out the way I see it in my head that is something I am working on. I don't want to sell people anything - I want to share what is working for us. We live in a world full of new chemical daily, processed fast food, pollution, fast moving. So many are SICK with things never heard of, kids have hospitals dedicated to them. My friends and family fight illness all the time. People I care about get cancer, they get autoimmune diseases and they don't even know they can help themselves. They settle for pills, drs with no answers, chronic pain, feeling trapped in their own homes, watching their kids suffer with diseases only seen in adults. I can't just sit here and do NOTHING - I have already done that and what good does that do? I have such a heart and passion for others. IT may be the perception of some that I only want a customer. That is far from the truth. Being a customer supports my family yes, but what good is it if you don't value it and understand what it is. Not everyone is ready, not everyone believes they have options. I understand that, I can't help everyone - but I can help someone and I am not giving up! I see the FB posts of so many - battling their health. I can't imagine what some may have gone thru or will go thru. So many claim to help and want to sell sell sell. It really puts bad taste in the mouths of those struggling and not finding a solution. I most recently have been silently battling something. Only those close to me know but I have not found an answer yet or relief. It really has put a damper on my spirit and it has distracted me the last few months. I finally decided this week that I can't dwell on this, we will figure it out. I am called to deal with this for now and its only making me stronger. Just to ease your mind I have had all the diagnostics tests done and ruled out all the BAD stuff. I am not dying and I need to suck it up. I am so thankful for my good nutrition and the resources I have available to me because of my business. All blood work and all CT. MRI imaging is all normal - The western medical drs have nothing. Mostly I feel like I am fighting my body from wanting to daydream./space out 24/7. Weirdest feeling in the world , and I admit i was so starting to freak out with the testing - but everything has come back normal. EVERYTHING! Acupuncture and chiropractors have been my best friends. I know I will get past it - maybe even wake up one day and it will be normal, ha! Normal is seriously over-rated! My whole point in sharing this is , I got so consumed in myself. Letting a lot of things slide - not anymore. I am going to control my mindset from now on! I have to much to give to just sit back and dwell on things I can't control. I feel like how dare I not get over myself - this too shall pass. I do have so much empathy for those dealing with chronic illness or things not explained. Trying one thing after another, test after test. It can be exhausting and each time you hope you find something even if its devastating. At least I have an answer is what I have thought. However I am so thankful I have my health and even tho its not perfect now, I will be ok. My only advice is keep searching for something that may help you. Even if your doctor is not 100% on board, We have to be our own advocates. That is one thing having Mallie has taught me - Western medicine is needed but they are not the only options out there. My god if I just listened to every person in charge of Mallie's care - we sure as hell would not be where we are today. Have you seen her? My daughter is amazing! I don't mind bragging - that girl has been thru hell. Defied so many obstacles and showed up to her life all the time. When I was worried and wondering if she would do this, would do that. She HAS and my heart could just burst every time I look at her. What if I had not fought? What if I settled..... and So What happens when they say well this all I got for you? Leaving you with no solution, no answers. Better yet what if you are not OK with what they have to say? Like when Mallie was on a adult dose of miralax for 3 years.... Seriously - even the DR of INTEsTINES said that was my only option. WTF really? When you open up the pamphlet on that chemical shit storm - it says in big bold letters. NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN. Yet Drs are OK letting them eat it daily in Large doses. No long term studies ....Oh its ok, really? Why does the label say that then? It infuriates me - this is not the only drug out there given to kids like candy. Its the only one I have a personal experience with. I sought out other options because I am 100% not ok with that! My daughter means the world to me and I would take a bullet for her - why the hell would I poison her from the inside out? I realize she needs to go to the bathroom...but I just knew there had to be a better way. DR's can't help it they are trained to treat symptoms (not speaking for all). We don't have HEALTH CARE in the world we have Sick care. You don't go to them for prevention, right? maybe a yearly check up and they may offer some advice. Lets be honest - we go to them when something is wrong 99% of the time. That is where I come in - I want to help others learn to prevent. I want to give people hope! Those I have already - I thank you for believing in me. Thank you for letting me part of your journey. I want to inspire you to make a decision to not settle and not give up! If that means you decide to join the Juice Plus Family, great! IF it means you decide not to drink pop daily, yes! Or if it means you started walking daily, drinking more water, googling info about health concerns - all of this is me doing my JOB - my calling is to inspire others to make a change for the better. Join me in making a difference in people's lives! I want to leave you with the lyrics to a song from Wonder Woman (go see this movie) Fight for yourself, fight for others that can't find for themselves. Love people! The world needs more of that now more than ever!
To Be Human - sia - watch here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-BcIkbedIc
To be human is to love
even when it gets too much
I'm not ready to give up
To be human is to love
Even when it gets too much
There's no reason to give up
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Full Circle..
It is a beautiful Sun Shiny day here in Michigan - COLD but the sun is amazing for the soul. I have been bad at keeping up on this blog I know - Every once in a while like yesterday something sparks me and I am COMPELLED to share. I started this blog for my baby Mallie who is now 7 years old. During the times that were hard and her surgeries early on this was a way for me to get my feelings out. It was a place to share how she was doing so that others could follow along and easier for me to reach everyone in one fell swoop. If you have not read this blog before and do not know our story please take a peak. Here is the post that I will be referencing, a huge loss in my life.
http://malliebean.blogspot.com/2010/09/life.html.
So Sept 18th was the day I lost my dad, it will be 7 years already this next September. My mom came over yesterday and we were talking. I don't know how it came up but we ended up getting out Mallie's baby book for her first year. My mom was telling Mallie she had a photo of him holding her. I have all of the photos in her book so I let Mallie and my Mom look thru the book while I was making dinner. There is always the what ifs... what if he had not stopped taking plavix, what if she had made him go to the dr more - etc.. We know it was heart disease that took him - he had his first heart attack when he was around 55. Life truly does have crazy ways of working out and we don't always understand especially in time of loss. He was only 61 years old and his dad was in his 80's when he passed. He was the youngest boy of 13 kids - yet one of the first to go. I had just been thru the wildest , emotional ride with our 1 year old little girl. The timing - we got home from the 18 day hospital stay , drained, scared. I had no idea if Mallie was going to be ok at home. She lost so much weight and was never a lover of food. Her body temp was hard to regulate, her blood sugars were low most of the time. So much on my mind and so much worry. So Why would my Dad have to leave this Earth the same night? I have thought about this many times and wondered how the hell I survived.
The day after my dad passed, I was talking with my friend Sam - she was one that was called in the middle of the night. I don't remember a lot of what was said but when we talked the next day after I had been to my mom's house. She told me how she shared with her little girl Abby. Abby was only 6 years old and pretty much without hesitation told Sam "He had to go so Mallie could Live" I won't ever forget that because It has always been on mind that he is watching over her. The night we came home Mallie did eat her bottle but it was still a struggle at first to get the right temp or whatever. The next day when we went to my parents house to be with everyone and that whole week, Mallie ate her bottle up and that weight of worry for that week was lifted. She just ate and anyone that fed her - I don't think it was coincidence.
While in the hospital my dad came to visit a couple times. My parents and my friends Annie & Sam came down and took me to dinner one night. It was a good night away from the hospital. My Dad cracking jokes and just a good night during a time of stress. He came down one more time after that during our 18 day stay. We went to lunch while Mallie napped - I remember thinking he looked like he had aged so much even from a couple weeks ago. He looked a lot like his dad, my grampa. That was the last time I saw him , he played with Mallie in her crib at the hospital and then him and my mom went home. It was the last time I talked to him. Something was going on with him and he never said a word.
So fast forward to yesterday and while we looked at pics and talked about him. My mom told me something that totally brought me back to Abby's words. A couple of my dads sisters told my Mom something that my Dad had shared with them. He told my Aunt's that he made a deal with God to take him instead of Mallie.
I have been thinking about this since yesterday and those close to me know what my beliefs are. I don't go to Church but I believe. I don't know what your beliefs are but there is something to be said for our story. I miss my Dad so much and I wish he could physically be here to see Mallie growing up - however I believe he is and always has been. Mallie has had times where I would here her giggling in her sleep and I always thought it was him. He visits me in my dreams sometimes, I don't always remember the content of them. As much as I would love to have him here and miss him - I don't know if I could ever be grateful enough that Mallie is still here with us. Tho his life was cut short in my opinion, Mallie still had the rest of hers. I just can't imagine my life without her - I believe everything happens for a reason and wanted to share this today.
Love you all,
Steph
http://malliebean.blogspot.com/2010/09/life.html.
So Sept 18th was the day I lost my dad, it will be 7 years already this next September. My mom came over yesterday and we were talking. I don't know how it came up but we ended up getting out Mallie's baby book for her first year. My mom was telling Mallie she had a photo of him holding her. I have all of the photos in her book so I let Mallie and my Mom look thru the book while I was making dinner. There is always the what ifs... what if he had not stopped taking plavix, what if she had made him go to the dr more - etc.. We know it was heart disease that took him - he had his first heart attack when he was around 55. Life truly does have crazy ways of working out and we don't always understand especially in time of loss. He was only 61 years old and his dad was in his 80's when he passed. He was the youngest boy of 13 kids - yet one of the first to go. I had just been thru the wildest , emotional ride with our 1 year old little girl. The timing - we got home from the 18 day hospital stay , drained, scared. I had no idea if Mallie was going to be ok at home. She lost so much weight and was never a lover of food. Her body temp was hard to regulate, her blood sugars were low most of the time. So much on my mind and so much worry. So Why would my Dad have to leave this Earth the same night? I have thought about this many times and wondered how the hell I survived.
The day after my dad passed, I was talking with my friend Sam - she was one that was called in the middle of the night. I don't remember a lot of what was said but when we talked the next day after I had been to my mom's house. She told me how she shared with her little girl Abby. Abby was only 6 years old and pretty much without hesitation told Sam "He had to go so Mallie could Live" I won't ever forget that because It has always been on mind that he is watching over her. The night we came home Mallie did eat her bottle but it was still a struggle at first to get the right temp or whatever. The next day when we went to my parents house to be with everyone and that whole week, Mallie ate her bottle up and that weight of worry for that week was lifted. She just ate and anyone that fed her - I don't think it was coincidence.
While in the hospital my dad came to visit a couple times. My parents and my friends Annie & Sam came down and took me to dinner one night. It was a good night away from the hospital. My Dad cracking jokes and just a good night during a time of stress. He came down one more time after that during our 18 day stay. We went to lunch while Mallie napped - I remember thinking he looked like he had aged so much even from a couple weeks ago. He looked a lot like his dad, my grampa. That was the last time I saw him , he played with Mallie in her crib at the hospital and then him and my mom went home. It was the last time I talked to him. Something was going on with him and he never said a word.
So fast forward to yesterday and while we looked at pics and talked about him. My mom told me something that totally brought me back to Abby's words. A couple of my dads sisters told my Mom something that my Dad had shared with them. He told my Aunt's that he made a deal with God to take him instead of Mallie.
I have been thinking about this since yesterday and those close to me know what my beliefs are. I don't go to Church but I believe. I don't know what your beliefs are but there is something to be said for our story. I miss my Dad so much and I wish he could physically be here to see Mallie growing up - however I believe he is and always has been. Mallie has had times where I would here her giggling in her sleep and I always thought it was him. He visits me in my dreams sometimes, I don't always remember the content of them. As much as I would love to have him here and miss him - I don't know if I could ever be grateful enough that Mallie is still here with us. Tho his life was cut short in my opinion, Mallie still had the rest of hers. I just can't imagine my life without her - I believe everything happens for a reason and wanted to share this today.
Love you all,
Steph
Friday, September 9, 2016
Happy 7th Birthday Mallie Bean
Mallie -
Another year is upon us - tomorrow you will be 7 years old! Every year I say how time flies and this year is no different. It flew - so fast. You are growing up :) I can't imagine what my life would be if you were not given to me. I was meant to be your momma as much as you were meant to be my daughter. I love you soooooo Much! You continue to amaze me every single day! This next year is going to be awesome! I can't wait to see how much you learn and grow in First Grade. Happy Birthday to you - Mommy loves you to the moon and back - with all of my heart.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Love her smile...
In our day to day lives we are busy, just like everyone there is something going on all the time. I LOVE my LIFE and would not trade it for the world :) I had a time stop moment tonite....
So I scheduled family pics over a month ago with one of my good friends Ellen - we met many years ago when I worked for Russ Miller. I just love her! Every year I get family pictures, its like non negotiable for me. I LOVE pictures and I want to look back every year and see our family. I want Mallie to see our family as we grew together. It is IMPORTANT to me :) Every year Steve grumbles (although each year its less, LOL) Picture day is usually crazy and Mallie is crabby, my hair won't do what I want, Steve is sighing and asking how long it will take, I ordered 3-4 outifts and sent all but one back.... its a process and a production. Even with a day off yesterday it was still chaos up until Ellen showed up at our door. Like a half second I thought gosh is this worth it....like I said , half second - then that thought flew away. So we went to my secret favorite spot and then finished in our back yard. It was fun, Mallie was a ham and Steve never complained once....well maybe once but it was about mosquitoes. ha! I can't wait to see all of them! Today Ellen posted a sneak peak and love them! Soooo...
Mallie's 4 top teeth are all Loose! I have been saying to her for some time now, ok lets keep those teeth in until at least family pictures. She would laugh and say ok momma! Seriously tho, how did we get here? When Mallie was 6 mo old like all her teeth came in at the same time. So I guess its only the way it works that they will all come out around the same time together. Someone commented how they loved her smile .... and .... well I FREAKIN love it too and it makes me sad that soon it will change. Baby teeth gone is part of growing up and it is happening before my eyes. Speeding thru the days, hours, months and years, like a landslide. When she smiles and laughs it makes my day and I think.... I am doing something right. IT IS THE BEST! I am sorta hoping her teeth won't ever fall out.... hahaha I know that is not possible. But still - its going to change EVERYTHING - she will always be my little girl...but its going to change her look. I am not ready..... I want her to stay this way forever. I think this is all normal feelings.
Mallie is very strong willed and can be a stinker (yes I know , believe it or not), she is your typical kid. She throws fits , she screams, some magnified with the communication gap - but overall she is a sweetheart and I can't believe how much she is growing up.
Almost 7 years old, SEVEN, yes I said 7 - what? Tonite when I read the comment of loving her smile, I just love that we have family pictures every year to capture it . To capture her youth and see her grow because even tho we are living it. We don't always see it until one day we wake up and go , she is 25 and getting married.
Point of my post is relish in your family, take that trip, get those family photos - document your life. Looking back on the million photos , it is your story, it is her story. Tonite time stood still for a moment. Last nights shoot was a milestone session. The next family photoshoot she will look so different and no longer have her baby teeth.
Thank you Ellen! http://www.reallifephotographybyellen.com/
sigh..... #stopgrowingup #staylittleforever #lovehersmile #malliebean #lovehertothemoonandback
Sunday, April 17, 2016
I have to share today...
Good Morning - it has been some time since I have really wrote anything - I have so much to say. Please know that I am not an expert writer and this may be sporatic and jump all over the place. I want to start with what has prompted my writing today. While Mallie was eating lunch today , we were watching videos of this young up and coming artist sing. It popped into my feed and she was singing Jolene - Mallie was instantly drawn to it. She loves music but Jolene is a favorite song of hers. Country gold a girl after my own heart :) So we started watching other videos and this girl did a cover of Sugarland's "something more" . I had not heard it in forever and my how fitting the words are to me. First of all I was staring at Mallie while she was watching and trying to sing along to a song she had never heard before. Heart melted. Then the words of the song really are speaking to me today. It is very fitting I guess because 7 months ago I did something that is forever changing my thinking about what I want in life. I have had a couple really great conversations with people the last few days and I just feel I want to share my heart and why I am doing what I am doing. With the social media world blowing up and everyone selling something - I just want to tell my why I am choosing the path that I am.
First and foremost my little Mallie is my number one reason for doing anything. She is our world and our everything. Since she was born my life has forever been changed. I have been challenged in strength and there were days I wanted to run. Not from her but just lost not knowing what to do. I became her advocate for every single thing and I researched till all hours. I googled and read as much as I could trying to figure out what is best for her so she can have the best life. I have come to realize something so important. She needs more of my time and I need to be more available to her. She is growing up so fast, time is not slowing down but speeding up. I need to invest in her more than I am now. Working 8-5 everyday and coming home to cram in dinner and homework with three tired out people is downright crazy some nights. We are all on high emotions from the stresses of the day. Trying to get all the things we are supposed to do and then where is the FUN time? She goes to bed around 8 and we are not walking thru the door until sometimes 6pm. Mornings are the same - rush out the door. Other people are raising her...... I never looked at it like that before but school and daycare see her more than I do. THAT IS SO SAD to me.... As we move on into her school years she needs that extra help with things that are too hard to do in 20 min a night. I have realized that something needs to change and I am pretty focused on that right now. So what am I doing???
Going back to when I graduated HS - I Had no plans. I had no Dreams for a career. I had been dating Steve since I was 15 and tho he had gone away to college. I had not desire or reason to do that. So I did a little community college and when a job opened up at a local photographer's I jumped on it. My first real job and I loved photography. I thought of it as a learning opportunity - tho I was hired for admin duties, it was still a foot in the door. I did learn alot working for him ,not what I expected to learn but I did grow and learn. See no fault to him as I never said anything - I was hoping to learn ins and outs of photographing people. He retired and I had another job come in the nik of time. I was thankful to have a job to go to because I still had no idea what I wanted. I have gone my whole life not knowing that I had options outside of 9-5 jobs. I mean I knew people did things they loved and got paid for it but because I had really found that one thing..... sure I love photography. But I love it as a hobby and my own personal use. I know I could never do it for a living because I believe I would get burned out. Having it as a hobby is where I like it. Having Mallie has made me see how precious life is and you really need to find something that makes you happy. The reality for most is you can't survive financially without that 9-5 job. That is where I have been my whole life. I need to work, to pay bills and to survive. It don't matter if you like or not that is how you live. For those that have already discovered a dream and made it to a reality and are living and loving - I am so happy for you. For those stuck and not sure I hope my story helps you.
So here it is - I had a wonderful friend share a product with me several years ago. I pretty much never really looked at it - took the samples and that was that. Several more years had gone by and I had made some pretty good changes in my health becuase I was not happy with myself. I hated how I looked and surely did not feel good. With prescriptions hanging over my head because I had high cholesterol, I just knew I needed to do something. My dad passed away at 61 from heart disease. Had his first Heart attack at 53. So scary when that happened - noone should have to see a loved one suffer or leave the world so soon from somethings that could have been prevented. Losing my dad has stuck with me for so many reasons but one is I need to be on this earth as long as I can for Mallie. I am not getting younger and genetics don't go in your favor the older you get. Genetics are huge but honestly what we put in our bodies is bigger! Food can either help us fight disease or create it. So I lost 20+ pounds - ate clean and started a workout regimen. I was really excited to get my blood work after I did all that. Surely it would be better! Well to my dismay my triglycerides went down but , good vs bad cholesterol still sucked! Total was still high.... I was really bummed and just thought , well I will avoid the drs so I don't have to go on those nasty meds. Fast forward to Oct of 2014 when I reached back to my friend about Juice Plus. I was looking for anything that could help my daughter get off her miralax. I am pretty proud that is the only med she was on, but still a chemical and it did not work consistently. As a family we all started it together! After the first 4 months one thing was very apparent. I still had Mallie on Miralax but we no longer had monthly back ups and tummy issues. There is no magic dosing with miralax and too much or too little is never a good thing. Finding that middle ground was impossible. It all depended on what she ate that day or how much she was drinking too. So for that consistency with both together was a huge improvement. Mallie has unique challenges with her digestion that we are still currently looking into but a huge change for sure. Other things - she is willing to try more fruits and veggies - will even ask for them sometimes. She loves drinking water more than anything else which is also helpful. This last year being on JP - she only had a couple sicknesses that did not need antibiotics. Her yearly ear infections have gone away. She has had tubes 4 times!! I do have to say the first school year we started JP she was sick alot - but because it works on a cellular level it takes time to build up those healthy cells that regenerate every 3.5 months. As a family our overall sickness has decreased in duration and how many times. I don't think steve got sick at all this year. So July of last year I got my yearly bloodwork and was expecting to see the same thing. To my surprise I had normal numbers - FIRST TIME EVER!!!! Only change was Juice Plus! I knew that we would take it forever! I called my friend and said how do I save money on the product. 2 Days later I was a distributor - only wanting to save on our own product. Ha! I even had a call with a few of Liz's sponsors and I remember thinking why do I need to talk to them? I honestly don't remember much of what they said to me (sorry Leslie and Rebekah) - I shared my story with others and they decided to give it a try. When you love something you share it with people right? I do it with everything. I find a good moisturizer, I tell people - that part comes natural to me. I also love hearing from REAL people about products because they tell the truth. Little did I know in July what was going to happen to me.
At first I shared it and many decided to try. Then I tried to SELL it and let me tell you that is not a great thing. Everyone is selling something right? I became "one of those people" where I bet lots of you reading this were like Geez.... enough already. Quit trying to sell - just post cute pics of Mallie. I do want to say sorry to those that I have been in contact with where I just seemed like an annoying sales person of another product. I slowly learned that you can't just do that. My goals started to change because bottom line is I really just want to help others and educate them on importance of nutrition. Baby steps is what I did and I did not get it 5 years ago like I do now. Seeing my family, friends and others start to feel better - whether it was more energy. Headaches going away or allergies getting better, story after story I have forever been blessed by. It really makes my heart happy when people's lives are impacted for the better. I have met and became friends with some amazing people. I just love the community that is building around JuicePlus - with one goal to help others. So I guess I have found my calling - it is so rewarding to me. I just want to inspire others and share knowledge. Even if you don't buy Juice Plus I hope I teach you something or inspire to make some changes for you or your family. We are living in a fast paced processed everything world. What we eat and what we do will effect generations long after we are gone.
I am happy to say Steve is making huge changes for himself too - I like to think I inspired him - not sure he would admit that. None the less he has lost over 30 pounds and is feeling amazing! He is not exactly where he wants to be but will get there. I am so proud of him and so excited to see what the future holds for our little family. He will no longer want to sit on the couch and we can get out and do things together! I LOVE IT!! Plus he puts up with my time I spend on the business. Working full time and trying to make a career change in my spare time is hard. Thank you for your patience and support Steve. Also thank you for all that you do for us! I love you!
I want to say finally that - Juice Plus is a MLM company and no not a pyramid scheme. (those are illegal). I am happy to say Juiceplus products have changed my life and made realize how I can help and give back to others. The products and the company are amazing and I am so excited about my future. I don't feel like I am selling the products - I am sharing. The power of the products are a catalyst for other changes to come. No matter who you are, young or old you can benefit. I can't promise any one thing and surely does not CURE everything. Fruits and veggies help reduce free radicals in our bodies -that is a known fact. We are supposed to eat 7-13 different ones each day - most people can't , won't and don't. Juice Plus bridges that gap and then some. Simply its dried fruits and vegetables in gummy or capsule form. IF we were to buy 13 different fruits and veggies to eat - it is well over 30 dollars. Try feeding a family like that and good luck getting them all to eat every kind. At less than $2/day per person - I think its pretty amazing! Not too mention the relationships the company has with the growers. We have farms all over the country that make our produce - picked upon full ripening for the best nutrients, then dried at low low temps to lock in all those nutrients. I can't say enough :)
Ok so I have rambled on alot today and hope you find something in this post that makes you think. I want to help as many people as I can in all aspects of life. I hope to someday soon be able to not only drop Mallie off at school but pick her up. I can't wait for the day I don't have to feel guilty for asking to get time off at work. Would love to go visit my sisters who all live far away whenever I want. I like that I can take this business anywhere. I want to not live paycheck to paycheck anymore! I have found a way to do all of this and help others too. This is my DREAM job that I never knew existed.
To all my friends and family -thank you all for the support and encouragement. I am truly blessed! Love to all!!
First and foremost my little Mallie is my number one reason for doing anything. She is our world and our everything. Since she was born my life has forever been changed. I have been challenged in strength and there were days I wanted to run. Not from her but just lost not knowing what to do. I became her advocate for every single thing and I researched till all hours. I googled and read as much as I could trying to figure out what is best for her so she can have the best life. I have come to realize something so important. She needs more of my time and I need to be more available to her. She is growing up so fast, time is not slowing down but speeding up. I need to invest in her more than I am now. Working 8-5 everyday and coming home to cram in dinner and homework with three tired out people is downright crazy some nights. We are all on high emotions from the stresses of the day. Trying to get all the things we are supposed to do and then where is the FUN time? She goes to bed around 8 and we are not walking thru the door until sometimes 6pm. Mornings are the same - rush out the door. Other people are raising her...... I never looked at it like that before but school and daycare see her more than I do. THAT IS SO SAD to me.... As we move on into her school years she needs that extra help with things that are too hard to do in 20 min a night. I have realized that something needs to change and I am pretty focused on that right now. So what am I doing???
Going back to when I graduated HS - I Had no plans. I had no Dreams for a career. I had been dating Steve since I was 15 and tho he had gone away to college. I had not desire or reason to do that. So I did a little community college and when a job opened up at a local photographer's I jumped on it. My first real job and I loved photography. I thought of it as a learning opportunity - tho I was hired for admin duties, it was still a foot in the door. I did learn alot working for him ,not what I expected to learn but I did grow and learn. See no fault to him as I never said anything - I was hoping to learn ins and outs of photographing people. He retired and I had another job come in the nik of time. I was thankful to have a job to go to because I still had no idea what I wanted. I have gone my whole life not knowing that I had options outside of 9-5 jobs. I mean I knew people did things they loved and got paid for it but because I had really found that one thing..... sure I love photography. But I love it as a hobby and my own personal use. I know I could never do it for a living because I believe I would get burned out. Having it as a hobby is where I like it. Having Mallie has made me see how precious life is and you really need to find something that makes you happy. The reality for most is you can't survive financially without that 9-5 job. That is where I have been my whole life. I need to work, to pay bills and to survive. It don't matter if you like or not that is how you live. For those that have already discovered a dream and made it to a reality and are living and loving - I am so happy for you. For those stuck and not sure I hope my story helps you.
So here it is - I had a wonderful friend share a product with me several years ago. I pretty much never really looked at it - took the samples and that was that. Several more years had gone by and I had made some pretty good changes in my health becuase I was not happy with myself. I hated how I looked and surely did not feel good. With prescriptions hanging over my head because I had high cholesterol, I just knew I needed to do something. My dad passed away at 61 from heart disease. Had his first Heart attack at 53. So scary when that happened - noone should have to see a loved one suffer or leave the world so soon from somethings that could have been prevented. Losing my dad has stuck with me for so many reasons but one is I need to be on this earth as long as I can for Mallie. I am not getting younger and genetics don't go in your favor the older you get. Genetics are huge but honestly what we put in our bodies is bigger! Food can either help us fight disease or create it. So I lost 20+ pounds - ate clean and started a workout regimen. I was really excited to get my blood work after I did all that. Surely it would be better! Well to my dismay my triglycerides went down but , good vs bad cholesterol still sucked! Total was still high.... I was really bummed and just thought , well I will avoid the drs so I don't have to go on those nasty meds. Fast forward to Oct of 2014 when I reached back to my friend about Juice Plus. I was looking for anything that could help my daughter get off her miralax. I am pretty proud that is the only med she was on, but still a chemical and it did not work consistently. As a family we all started it together! After the first 4 months one thing was very apparent. I still had Mallie on Miralax but we no longer had monthly back ups and tummy issues. There is no magic dosing with miralax and too much or too little is never a good thing. Finding that middle ground was impossible. It all depended on what she ate that day or how much she was drinking too. So for that consistency with both together was a huge improvement. Mallie has unique challenges with her digestion that we are still currently looking into but a huge change for sure. Other things - she is willing to try more fruits and veggies - will even ask for them sometimes. She loves drinking water more than anything else which is also helpful. This last year being on JP - she only had a couple sicknesses that did not need antibiotics. Her yearly ear infections have gone away. She has had tubes 4 times!! I do have to say the first school year we started JP she was sick alot - but because it works on a cellular level it takes time to build up those healthy cells that regenerate every 3.5 months. As a family our overall sickness has decreased in duration and how many times. I don't think steve got sick at all this year. So July of last year I got my yearly bloodwork and was expecting to see the same thing. To my surprise I had normal numbers - FIRST TIME EVER!!!! Only change was Juice Plus! I knew that we would take it forever! I called my friend and said how do I save money on the product. 2 Days later I was a distributor - only wanting to save on our own product. Ha! I even had a call with a few of Liz's sponsors and I remember thinking why do I need to talk to them? I honestly don't remember much of what they said to me (sorry Leslie and Rebekah) - I shared my story with others and they decided to give it a try. When you love something you share it with people right? I do it with everything. I find a good moisturizer, I tell people - that part comes natural to me. I also love hearing from REAL people about products because they tell the truth. Little did I know in July what was going to happen to me.
At first I shared it and many decided to try. Then I tried to SELL it and let me tell you that is not a great thing. Everyone is selling something right? I became "one of those people" where I bet lots of you reading this were like Geez.... enough already. Quit trying to sell - just post cute pics of Mallie. I do want to say sorry to those that I have been in contact with where I just seemed like an annoying sales person of another product. I slowly learned that you can't just do that. My goals started to change because bottom line is I really just want to help others and educate them on importance of nutrition. Baby steps is what I did and I did not get it 5 years ago like I do now. Seeing my family, friends and others start to feel better - whether it was more energy. Headaches going away or allergies getting better, story after story I have forever been blessed by. It really makes my heart happy when people's lives are impacted for the better. I have met and became friends with some amazing people. I just love the community that is building around JuicePlus - with one goal to help others. So I guess I have found my calling - it is so rewarding to me. I just want to inspire others and share knowledge. Even if you don't buy Juice Plus I hope I teach you something or inspire to make some changes for you or your family. We are living in a fast paced processed everything world. What we eat and what we do will effect generations long after we are gone.
I am happy to say Steve is making huge changes for himself too - I like to think I inspired him - not sure he would admit that. None the less he has lost over 30 pounds and is feeling amazing! He is not exactly where he wants to be but will get there. I am so proud of him and so excited to see what the future holds for our little family. He will no longer want to sit on the couch and we can get out and do things together! I LOVE IT!! Plus he puts up with my time I spend on the business. Working full time and trying to make a career change in my spare time is hard. Thank you for your patience and support Steve. Also thank you for all that you do for us! I love you!
I want to say finally that - Juice Plus is a MLM company and no not a pyramid scheme. (those are illegal). I am happy to say Juiceplus products have changed my life and made realize how I can help and give back to others. The products and the company are amazing and I am so excited about my future. I don't feel like I am selling the products - I am sharing. The power of the products are a catalyst for other changes to come. No matter who you are, young or old you can benefit. I can't promise any one thing and surely does not CURE everything. Fruits and veggies help reduce free radicals in our bodies -that is a known fact. We are supposed to eat 7-13 different ones each day - most people can't , won't and don't. Juice Plus bridges that gap and then some. Simply its dried fruits and vegetables in gummy or capsule form. IF we were to buy 13 different fruits and veggies to eat - it is well over 30 dollars. Try feeding a family like that and good luck getting them all to eat every kind. At less than $2/day per person - I think its pretty amazing! Not too mention the relationships the company has with the growers. We have farms all over the country that make our produce - picked upon full ripening for the best nutrients, then dried at low low temps to lock in all those nutrients. I can't say enough :)
Ok so I have rambled on alot today and hope you find something in this post that makes you think. I want to help as many people as I can in all aspects of life. I hope to someday soon be able to not only drop Mallie off at school but pick her up. I can't wait for the day I don't have to feel guilty for asking to get time off at work. Would love to go visit my sisters who all live far away whenever I want. I like that I can take this business anywhere. I want to not live paycheck to paycheck anymore! I have found a way to do all of this and help others too. This is my DREAM job that I never knew existed.
To all my friends and family -thank you all for the support and encouragement. I am truly blessed! Love to all!!
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