A little reflection....

The weather was crazy today, rain and sun, big puffy clouds, hail!. I saw two rainbows today - one this morning and one on my way home. It is quite chilly out - kind of typical for this time of year. Waking up and moving thru the day just like most days. Except there is a significance to today. Its a day we can't skip or avoid and to most people I know its just another day. Or just another Tuesday.... For me and my family today marks 2 years since my dad made his exit on the world. I did not know what to expect today and like any other uncomfortable situations, I just go about my business and stay busy. I am kind of an avoid-er when it comes to "feelings" and letting emotion show. I don't know why I am like that but I don't like to have other people see me cry. I would rather do it in private ALONE. Although only minimal tears today, there have been random moments in the last two years where I think of him or something reminds me of him and I melt down. It is usually out of nowhere and mostly when I am alone. I am completely ok with that -as I said before I avoid showing those emotions to others. (not sure if that is good or bad) I talked to Misty tonite and both of us have had dreams of him in the last week. Also for both of us, it has been awhile since we dreamed of him and remembered it. I am sure there is something to be said for that or some meaning behind it. I do know that losing my dad 2 years ago has proved to me how short life really is. I still take things for granted in more ways than one, I think that is hard not to do most days. Appreciation for small things comes a bit easier and trying to live each day to the max potential is something I strive for. It is so much easier to say than to do - but really we all need to slow down sometimes. We need to appreciate what we have and those that mean the most to us. We need to do what makes us happy and provide all we can for our kids. Spend more time with family and those that we love. Tell those we love how we feel and don't assume that they always know. I have so many things I wanna do and need to work on , in many aspects of my life. I hope that I can work on these things for the future and not look back in 30 years with any regrets. So here is to my dad, a man who taught me so much, gone too soon, but never to be forgotten. I love you dad with all of my heart - until we meet again - rest in peace.

A letter to Mallie on her 3rd Birthday

Hi Mallie - Tomorrow you will be 3 years old, where has the time gone already? Life really does move so fast. You are forever changing and growing up! You said your first word "uh oh" in January and you have not looked back. The CI's are truly an amazing gift that we are so glad to have them for you. More and more words are coming with great success! I wanted to tell you how beautiful you are and how happy you make me each and every day. I am blessed as a mommy to have you as my daughter. I am also, so very proud of everything you have accomplished this year and I am looking forward to where you will take us next. You still light up every room and capture everyone's attention with your sparkly personality. its truly amazing and I love you so much. Happy Birthday Mallie - Love Mommy